Happy Birthday, Dad!

 

Today would have been my dad's 68th birthday. This photo is my mom, dad and I in 1973. It looks like my mom is sewing (she's still a crazy active seamstress), I'm dozing, and dad is trying to be cool in what wasn't a great situation. I've always wondered about the crooked drawing taped to the wall. Who drew it? Who is the subject? I'll have to ask mom if she remembers. 

My parents had me at 18. After I was born, they had domestic issues (surprise!) so mom and I moved in with my aunt and uncle for awhile. I'm pretty sure this photo was taken at their house. The writing on the back looks like my maternal grandmother's. Maybe it was a get-together? The date on the photo is July 73. Could have been a barbecue, who knows?

It's hard to imagine what dad would have been like now. He was 51 when he died in a car crash. Mom had left him not long before and he was an emotional mess. It was a shitty time for all of us. I think of him often and wonder if he would have healed through the trauma, ready to start over on his own terms or would he have devolved into alcoholism and anger? Either would have been possible.

Dad was very intelligent but uneducated. He suffered the typical frustration of poor, smart kids. He worked in the trades all his life and was known to gripe frequently about the "rat race". The work was physically hard, often psychologically demeaning then he would come home to four kids. So he was often grumpy, yelling at us to be quiet so he could hear the news.

He was also playful. When I was about 5, he asked mom to sew some knee pads so he could crawl around with me on his back yelling "giddyup!". "Horsie" was one of my favorite games with him back then. I guess it did a number on his knees - until mom made those adorable pink flannel knee pads! He also liked to sing and would do it with an overly expressive, hamming it up kind of performance style. I loved that.  

Happy Birthday, Dad! I hope some fragment of you is out there, singing Tie a Yellow Ribbon Round the Ole Oak Tree and having a cold one. Cheers!